Brink of Insanity
by stilessttilinski
Summary: She knows no one is going to raise their glass to her, because she is not one of the ones who deserve it. And she fades into the darkness. - - Bellatrix.


**a.n.**

**i **_**hate**_** idea-copiers. actually, i think i just hate copiers in general. urgh, i get if you want to like use a **_**bit**_**, but seriously? -.- gah.**

**disclaimer: i don't own harry potter. & i'm not j.k. rowling.**

She surrounds them in darkness and shadows and cruel laughter, devouring them in her sorrow and misery and desolation. She's like the Grim Reaper, taking lives away from happyhappy families and living her life in a swirl of black cloaks and uncovered masks.

She used to be beautiful, an angel in all her glory, except there are no white dresses and halos of innocence. She spreads fear into the lives of others, no remorse or regrets, no promises kept. She tortures until she can't anymore, and it's irrelevant what their names are, it's irrelevant _who_ they are, because she doesn't care anyway.

Love is a feeling unknown to her; her master does not teach _love_, he teaches _hatred_, and love is only for the weak, anyway.

Just a woman striving for attention, for _love_, for anything but hatred, except the journey is rough and hatred comes along too many times to ignore. So she succumbs to the hate, because it's _easier_ and the destination she was aiming for in the first place is too full of heartbreak, so what's the point in trying?

She isn't _evil_, per say. Just driven to the brink of insanity by her family and her friends and her Master, and when her sister Andy left their family for a _Muggle-born_, a _Mudblood_, she's not angry, no, she's _jealous_. Andy gets to be free of the burden and the pressure and she's stuck, she'll always be stuck.

She's in a loop of _get orders_-_torture-kill_ and it's rather sickening, really, but what else can she do? She just follows the orders of her master in her lunacy because she strives to be best at _something_. But even this, _even this_, she can't be best at because she's _failed_ , like always, and even Severus-_bloody -_Snape is higher than her. So she tries (too hard) and becomes _obsessed_ and her cloak of darkness slips to reveal just a sad, sad woman with nothing, no one, to help.

She pushes away those who love her and those who care because she craves fear and horror and she's _driven_ by fear, so why not cause it as well?

She's jealous of her sisters: Andromeda, who got a _chance_ to get away from all this, and Narcissa, who has a man that she _loves_ (well, at least she used to) and a man that loves her back.

(Not that she needs love, anyway.)

She spins her web, her _darkdark_ web, and captures hearts and souls and bodies and her own soul is lost forever, because she's gotten _numb_ to the killings and she simply doesn't care anymore. She's successful at one thing, _killing_, and it's _something_ to be proud of, to cherish, right?

She is not one for failure. She's stubborn in that way, she's _determined_, but her determination is really what drives her to insanity, and she can't blame it on anyone but herself.

She's a wilted flower, beautiful at first, but now so far gone it's impossible to get her back. She is delusional, ever since Azkaban, she's given up on trying to live a successful life, and she's become the unwanted angel, almost akin to Lucifer. She's some piece of trash, of disappointment and anger and terror.

So her dark-hair-dark-eyes-dark-_everything _are just second-in-command, _second-best_, and she cannot stand the ignorance of her Master, cannot stand that he does not realize how dedicated she _really_ is.

And during the Final Battle, when her Master is dueling Harry Potter and she is dueling Molly Weasley, she _gives up_ and just lets goddammned Molly Weasley kill her, because there's nothing in her life worth saving anymore (Rodolphus is _dead_ and her parents are _dead_ and her sisters are _gone_.) She raises her arm at the exact moment the flash of green light goes by, and it hits her square in the chest, and finally, she is _free_ of the burden.

She drops to the floor in front of the whole of Hogwarts—excluding the Slytherins, of course, they've never been brave—and she hears whoops of glee and delight before her very ears, the last sound she hears before she dies. She imagines the people surrounding her, mocking her, defacing her body, and she imagines her Master falling to his death as well, because that is surely what is going to happen to him, because he is crueler and he is more evil and he is pathetic. She knows no one is going to raise their glass to her, because she is not one of the ones who deserve it. She knows she is not going to be remembered as anything but the evil fucking bitch that ended the lives of countless, faceless, nameless, people. (At least to her.) She finally doesn't have to live up to expectations.

And she fades into the darkness.

**a.n.**

**please don't favorite without reviewing.**


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